Trump comes to town

Tonight, the president came to Eastern North Carolina, to Greenville. He held one of his campaign rallies. I thought that Greenville was the perfect place for that. I had moved to Greenville in 1989, but Greenville was locked in the 1950s. I saw a town that was segregated, blacks on one section of town and whites in the rest. Only the newer parts of town were integrated, the parts where all the non-native lived. Greenville is a college town, it has a medical school and some large manufacturing facilities that employ highly educated people. And it had migrant workers farming the tobacco fields living in abandoned shacks. None of the locals thought much about it. It was how it had always been. The blacks had their place and stayed there. The migrants were like the dogs they kept in their backyards. It was the outsiders who tried to change things. But many of the outsiders were from the middle of the country. Midwesterners who held the same con‐ servative position as the locals but did not have the same history as the locals. But their brains were wired the same, to fear the "other" , the stranger, change. True, they didn't have slavery in their history but they thought just like those who did. They came from communities without minorities. The black and brown people were the other, speaking a foreign language, worshipping differently, a different culture than theirs. When I moved here, I think some thought I'd be like them, having grown up in the white suburbs of America. But I grew up 20 miles from Manhattan and had been taken there often by my parents. My dad worked in Newark until I was in college. My mom and I would take a bus to shop there and then meet up with dad , maybe have dinner there or come home. We would also take the bus to Paterson to shop as well. We would walk around downtown, have lunch at Woolworth's or a corner luncheonette. I saw and interacted with all sorts of people. Many of the people my dad worked with were black. My doctor was Middle Eastern, Lebanese to b

Life and Its Twist and Turns

It has been a long time between postings. Some things have happened that made me look at my life and what's important to me. It started a bit back when the pressure at work began to affect my health. I have periodically had issues with stress affecting my GI system only once where it became serious, to the point where the doctors thought they may need to remove my colon. I had gone from about 135 lbs ( a reasonable weight for my frame) to about 110 lbs in about 4 weeks. I could not keep food in my system. I had my first colonoscopy at the age of 20. I had hip bones sticking out and visible ribs, something unusual for me after puberty. This time stress has caused an ulcer although there was a time when stomach cancer couldn't be ruled out. The thought of the latter absolutely terrified me. I know what that can mean and it was not something I wanted to go through alone but I would have to. I didn't know if I would be strong enough to do that, I feared I wouldn't be. I wouldn't ask what's left of my family to be with me through that and I don't think any of them could do it. I saw how they reacted to our parents' illnesses and deaths. I was wired differently than most of my family. I did watch my mom go through all the days in the hospital after dad's femoral artery bypass and his strokes and saw the similarities with her. But even we were different. Her emotions were never as close to the surface as mine are. You could never tell what hurt her emotionally whereas that shows all over my face. She saw what I did and how I reacted and thought I'd be a good doctor. What she didn't understand was how much it hurt me to see people hurt and to have to inflict more pain on them to eventually fix the problem. I could take apart a frog or pig or even a human heart but I couldn't pith the frog or decapitate the rat or inject the rabbit. I once told her, once it was dead I could do anything, but I couldn't do it when they were alive. I couldn't take blood from my lab partner, I couldn't demonstrate how to inject insulin on a person. I couldn't do anything I perceived as possibly giving pain, no matter how little.

Then there was the allergic reaction that never got address until the IT group wanted the loaner back. I realized I am over corporate life. There is no humanity there. It's time to move onto the next part of my life. My plans for retirement wasn't sitting in a chair in front of the TV, I do that nightly to try to remove the corporate day from my mind. It was to move onto a business of my own, the business changed a few times but it was something of mine, Something I controlled and something where people left in better spirits than when they came in. So at times, it was a restaurant, or a boutique but now it's a B&B. It has been for a while actually. I had found a great house in Bath NC with a deep water dock that could fit 4 boats. But Welcome got sold and I needed to move on. I looked at places in Greensboro and High Point when I lived there and had some possibilities. But then mom's and dad's health started to slide and I knew I needed to go back to NJ. So I put that desire on hold and did what needed to be done. Don't think I regret what I did, I don't. I reconnected with people I hadn't seen for a long time, I made new friends, and took a relationship to a different level. But it's coming to the time for me to take care of me. Because I can't expect anyone else to do that. I had thought Robert and I would be taking this on together, but that was not the future for us. We had gotten each other through many rough times but God or Fate decided he had been challenged enough or that I needed another challenge and he was gone. Now someone has come back into my life and I find myself on dangerous ground. He asked me at one point in a conversation, could you go back home again. I answered no not back to where you were but that a new chapter could be written. Robert and I walked out of each others lives several times, once because of his mom, once because I wanted more than he was willing to give but we always came back together. Life was better with him in mine and I think it was the same for him. I mean who would hang with someone who turned down 2 proposals and on the third, put a condition that was almost impossible for him to attain? But he did when I did just that. I knew new chapters could be written by old lovers and friends. But in saying that, the new chapter does build on the old and those old hurts need to be dealt with if they haven't been already. The relationship and trust needs to be rebuilt because, hopefully, you aren't the same person now that you were at 25. Or maybe you are and the other person need to decide if they are able to deal with that. Anyway, I don't know if by saying new chapters could be written I led him to believe that I want it to happen. I don't even know if that's what I want and what the chapters are to be. Is it just friendship or more? Then there is the issue that he's married , maybe unhappily, but still married. I'm not even sure what he wants, I initiated contact but we broke it off for various reasons and now he initiated it. Does he just need to talk to someone who is on his side, an outside observer or something else? Too much is unknown and I need to reign in my emotions, fantasies and imagination and deal with reality once I figure that out. Perhaps I need a good Gibbs smack to bring me back to my senses. I need to get back to my Sock Madness sock, Round 2 is on and one of 33 spots is mine. Here my progress so far.  I need the rest of the foot and a second to match.

　

　

　

A failure to Communicate

I am so bewildered by younger people and their obsession with smart phones.  They prefer to communicate by texts and email or a phone call rather than talking face to face.  I do appreciate the convenience but I do not feel I have to be available to the world 24/7.  I see people in bathroom stalls still yakking away on their phones.  That is way too intrusive for me.  What is so important that you can't end a call, do what you have to do and then call back?  From the conversations I overhear, none of them were vitally important unless spreading gossip is now vitally important.  I see more people at baseball games with their faces turned down towards their phone than out to the field.  The one that got me was the one watching the game while at the game.  Said he needed the play by play to know what was going on.  Huh? I had a case at work where the person in the next cubicle sent me an email rather than turn around and ask me the question. 

So if they would do that, why am I surprised that he wouldn't tell me that he was going back home to India for three weeks?  I guess I expect common courtesy from people. But I should know by his actions he isn't courteous.  He is rude most of the time.  I will probably have to pick up his work during his vacation because he hasn't done very much  work at all.  I also know that when I go on vacation, he will not be taking up the slack.  After all when I was sick and there was a rush project, he waited until I came back to do anything.  He said he had been working on it, but when I asked what he had started writing so I could take it out of the plan, he said he hadn't started writing.  The rush project was to write about 35 documents.  So he was working on it but hadn't written a word.  All the source documents were provided so that wasn't an issue.  Could someone explain how you could be working  on a writing project without writing something?  Perhaps he needed three days to figure that out, that there were 35 documents that needed to be written.  Personally, I think he is very lazy and incompetent.  He got a PhD from a school that needed the money, on someone else's dime and with others help, as he once admitted to me.

I did start the last sock for the Tour de Sock, the cabled brioche stitch one.  I did some of one sock but I think I am going to take it out and perhaps do one for charity later. They will be a very warm sock and thick.  I don't even know if they would fit under my hiking boots.  I need some mindless knitting, so I started a plain stockinette sweater.  I just want a little rest before I start the Ravellenic Games.  I have plans to do three shawls during the games.  Plus I do have a Kal going on with the Unique Sheep.  I've done the first two clues so far. 

The color  of the shawl will go from the darkest color, a mix of a dark blue and black through a medium blue with some green notes to a green with some blue.  The color is called Aurora Borealis and I am using a 70/30 merino silk blend.  So far it's been an easy knit, maybe about 9 hours in it so far.  The Kal is called the Spirit of Guernsey designed by Janine Le Cras. I expect the pattern will become available after the Kal, either from the Unique Sheep or Janine.  It's on a 24 inch circular right now and I think there are 3 or maybe 4 more clues.  It's a Pi shawl so, you basically double the number of stitches at each increase row.  And there's an increase row as you knit double the rows, so there's one at row 2, row 5, row 10, row 22 etc.  Elizabeth Zimmerman has several Pi shawls in her books and there are a few available on Ravelry in honor of her 100th birthday.  Janine is doing this to honor her hoe the Isle of Guernsey in the Channel Islands. 

I am going to sign off now, get knitting and preparing for the Games.  After all there is a mass cast on Friday night.  Bye. 



Sock Fatigue

I am suffering from Sock Fatigue.  I have one more pair in the Tour de Sock and then I am finished.  I believe the cause of it is the two Ravelry contest that I have done back to back.  I think there was perhaps two weeks between each contest for some down time knitting.  That wasn’t enough time of down time.  Another mitigating factor was the year of socks I signed up for last November that started in January.  Let’s just say, I will have knitted a minimum of 14 pairs of socks since the beginning of this year after this last one.  They were not plain Jane vanilla socks.  Oh no, these were socks with ribbles (that’s ribbed cables that are reversible), stranded colorwork, mosaic knitting. lace, beads, regular cables, cables made because of a throw of a dice, alternate construction with strips of knitting joined together with k2tog or ssk, toe, cuff down, and/or short row heels.  Thank goodness there is only one more to go that will start later today.   And it's a cabled brioche stitch sock!  Oh My! Are They Out Of Their Minds!?!?!  I think I will either take a long break from socks or drive myself crazier and start designing them.  I have seen almost every design element and construction that has ever been invented for socks in these contests during the last two years.   

I did drop out of the Tour De Fleece.  In that contest, you needed to spin and photo your spinning for each day the Tour de France competitors ride.  I started but didn’t make a week.  One reason for that is the other contest I was doing at the same time (see above).  The other reason is I’m a rank beginner spinner.  I had a half day class on spinning two years ago and then nothing.  I got carried away to try this because I found the box of hand spun I had a friend spin for me.  It is awful.  I remember the fiber I sent was nice and soft and fluffy.  I got back some hard and scratchy art yarn that was worse than my first spinning attempt.  I thought I would try to make this stuff into something usable.  I undid the one ball of this handspun so I would get to the single strand that was spun.  I then tried to re-spin it, stretching out the large lumpy almost un-spun spots to a thinner strand.  I think I only managed to over-spin the single.  It’s still hard and scratchy though.  I’m thinking about taking the other single from the ball I separated, skeining it and soaking it in Eucalan or maybe crème rinse to see if it softens.  I went into it with unusable yarn and I’m not sure I did anything to improve it.  More experiments are needed.  Perhaps I need to get all the original spin out first and then re-spin it.  Oh that will be painful.  I’m not even sure I can do that.  I don’t know if she set the spin or not.  I’m not even sure what to do to set the spin.  I need to do some research.  I do know I like spinning on the drop spindle.  I’m still a bit uncoordinated and have dropped my drop spindle but the twirling of the fibers into a strand of yarn is mesmerizing.  There is a rhythm and flow to the act.  I still have to learn how to draft the fiber better but may this is something to get my fiber fix and not knit so many socks. 

I am hoping I have not overcommitted myself for the Ravellenic games.  That’s the new name for the Ravelympics after the USOC threatened to sue Ravlery because of the misuse of their trademarked name, Olympics.  This is the same USOC  that has deals with Ralph Lauren (for clothes made in China and other sweat shops in third world countries), McDonalds (where I doubt you would see an Olympic athlete)  Coke (I doubt an Olympic athlete drinks much Coke, even Diet Coke) etc.  They are there to raise money to support the athletes but also to line their pockets, I think.  I’m sure no one working at the USOC is doing it for free.  I’m sure Mitt Romney got a nice salary from the USOC for working on the Salt Lake games in the 90’s.   Back to the subject, Gail.  I will not be making socks for any of my challenges.  No, siree-bob.   Silly me has internally committed to doing 3 shawls in the 17 (?) day the Olympics take place. 

1.       Finish the Poinsettia shawl that I ripped back due to a dropped stitch only found during blocking.

2.       Make the new Stephen West Mystery Shawl in two Wollmeise yarns colors to be determined.

3.       Make the Morgana shawl.  It only starts with like 300 stitches or something like that.

I really need to have my head examined. 

Things that Get my Goat

Warning:  This post may contain some language the people may find offensive.  It will contain the four letter word 'work' and it may contain other four letter ones that come when people don't want to do the first one. 

I have certain pet peeves.  I have things that get to me.  The biggest one is people who expect the world to drop things in their laps.  People who do not want to work, who expect others to do the stuff they don't want to do.  I work with a bunch of them.  People who expect others to clean up their messes.  People who sit and read the paper or bulletin boards on the Internet all day or are on the phones with their friends or family all day.  They wonder why they aren't getting anywhere.  Honestly they are lucky they stay employed.  I think it's because the manager doesn't want to loose any more head count because then the powers that be may think they don't need the manager.  I am a consultant.  I'm not paid anywhere near what I was making before I left the workforce to take care of my parents before they died.  But I give the job my best effort.  I do the work I have as efficiently as possible.  I check my work for accuracy and correct all my spelling errors.  I check and recheck the numbers and make sure the written description matches the table or graph.  I take pride in my work.  I feel my work is a reflection of myself.  It bugs me that someone will sit doing nothing all day and take a company's money for it.  It bugs me that someone will take 2 weeks to do something it takes me 2 days to do and then do it so poorly, with spelling and grammatical errors.  I mean spell check in Office isn't the end all but if it's telling you that a word is misspelled, it probably is.  Especially when it isn't a highly technical term, when it's a commonly used word like supplement.  I know the person will be highly surprised when he gets let go and I get kept.  But when you sit on your ass doing crappy, slipshod work, screwing around for the most part, reading the paper or checking your bank account or perhaps stealing secrets from the company, you deserve to be fired.  There are plenty of people who want to work and those that don't shouldn't get the chance.  They should get exactly what they put out, nothing.  The world doesn't owe anybody anything.  You need to go and earn it.  You shouldn't expect others to clean up after you and you certainly shouldn't go around saying how busy and overworked you are.

This is the end of the rant.  I feel much better now.  I did manage to squeak though the fourth round of Sock Madness on Ravelry.  I thought this one would do me in.  I have only tried mosaic knitting once before, at the first Unique Sheep Retreat.  I did a small swatch of mosaic knitting in a class with Susan Pandorf.  It was ugly, my tension was horrible and the swatch puckered.  I had no hope that the socks would come out any better.  But Voila, I did it and the socks look wonderful.  See....

The only question is will they be too warm.  I used two different sock yarns, Santa Fe by Aslan Yarns and Socka by Stahl.  But the socks are almost double knit. The working yarn is carried behind the slipped stitches making a second layer.  So, even though they fit me and I love the tonal red with the solid navy blue, these socks may go into the pile of hats and such for Pine Ridge Reservation.  I think the Lakota people in North Dakota could make better use of them than I could here in NJ.  Tomorrow the next pattern is coming.  It has some colorwork as well.  The spoiler showed a few stripes of contrast on the ribbing but I know there's some sneaky surprise waiting in the fifth round.  I mean it's near the end, there will be two more rounds then the final one for the overall winner.  I hope there's a bit of contrast and the rest is lace.  I can do lace fast, I do lace well.  Last year this fifth round was an illusion knitting pattern.  It may have been garter but the chart to get the picture required you to concentrate.  Otherwise, no picture.  The teaser only showed the rib with the stripes.  I wonder what the rest is like.  I should know by 4PM tomorrow.  We shall see what challenges await us, the 70 still left competing (5 x 14 is 70).  I'll let you know when I either finish it or get knocked out.

I’ve Fallen and I…..

forgot to blog.  Yeah that’s it. I forgot.  It wasn’t that work was crazy for a few weeks or that I was trying to speed knit and then said why, it’s early stages of Sock Madness, you don’t need to do that yet.  Or,  perhaps I forgot because of the lovely weather out.  So I’m here again and trying to figure out what to write about.  That may be the main problem.  Life has been so mundane that there isn’t much to say.  Work is go then stop.  I write like the dickens , review/revise and then wait… and wait…. and wait.  It’s also a pain that I wind up having to redo the other writer’s work because he pays no attention to what he’s doing.  Thank goodness, there’s a new project for us that could be separated and his work will have to stand on its own.  I will not be held responsible for his mistakes and non-compliance.  At least, that’s what they are saying now.  Plus they are intending giving me the responsibility of coordinating the documents going to a outside firm for authoring. 

Things like Sock Madness and Guild Wars are cutting to my design time.  I do like participating in them though.  The speed thing in Sock Madness is fun, although I’m not feeling my sock mojo right now.  But it’s early rounds and there really is no need.  I’m back in the beginners’ group once again.  I think you have to spend a couple of years here before you move up.  Or if you submit a sock design for the next competition, that may get you moved.  So I’m not busting my hump right now to finish first.  I’ll be done either tonight or tomorrow and that will put me in the first half or maybe even first 10 to finish in my group.  I’m being a slacker this year, as long as I move on to the next round, I’m okay.  Last year I was an eager beaver and had to finish first or second each round.  Not happening.  I’m getting very distracted, like I have ADD.  I start something and see or hear a blurb on TV, check that out, play some solitaire on the computer and then cycle back.  Not good.  I will buckle down for the latter rounds so I can perhaps go one round further than last year.  Of course that would mean I was in the finals against all the other teams’ winner.  And the challenge sock would be something ridiculous, like last year’s colorwork  one with a Latavian braid and fringe I think.  I have the pattern but have not knit it.  I could convert it to a mitten, which is what the designer did I think.  I think she took a mitten and converted it to a sock.  I would just be taking it back to what it was.  I’m just restless and fiddly lately.  There are things I should be doing, like getting the last of my parents things put away and putting all my yarn up in the cabinets, but I am so not into that now.  Perhaps a little get-away would break the mood.  Or a swift kick to my posterior.

I finished and moved to round 3.  The afterthought heel does not fit me well.  I had to add extra rows to get some heel depth and they still don't fit.  But it fun to learn these new techniques and see what works for me and what doesn't.  I can always reknit it and redo the heel to a flap and gusset.  Since yesterday was April 1, April Fools, there were lots of little jokes on Ravelry.  I had a Cat in the Hat hat on my Ravatar.  There were the Emperor's Fingerless Gloves made from Rumplestilkin's Yarn.  Then there was a contest looking for the sexiest knitter, the one who knits the sexiest, not looks the sexiest and knits.  The in Sock Madness, Round 3 was announced.  The supply list had 1,000 yds of lace weight in 5 different colors, a true indigo dye vat made with urine of pre-pubscent boys, 4 cabana/ kilt boys, 16 cable needles and much more.  It fooled me at first until I started reading.  Then I started laughing. 

I am trying to finish at least one glove to show my massage therapist to see if it works for her.  If it does, I may actually publish it on Rav.  There isn't anything like it there.  There are some elements but not all of them put together like I have on this glove.  If I do, it will be my first published pattern.  I've never liked mittens, and gloves make it hard to get change out, especially while driving.  If you can flip the tops of your thumb and the the next two fingers, it could be done easily.  She wants to be able to play her flute and still keep her hands warm.  We will see it I figured it out and not have the tips get lost or in the way. 

It's getting late and I think I will sign off.  Nighty-night all.

Strange Day

Today is a funny day.  I’m really tired.  I think I got 4 hours of sleep.  So to amuse myself and hopefully, I am going to use all sorts of typeface styles.  Pathetic, no?  I guess when I get in this state, I’m easily amused.   (Tahoma, font size 11 points)

I’m feeling rather underappreciated at work.  I’m definitely underutilized. I get very little feedback about the job I’m doing, except when I do something perceived as “wrong” even though it is in full compliance with company policies.  It’s different than how they used to do it, but this is a new company, they got taken over, the winner wants it done their way.  Of course, I had to train myself on the different practices and was left to figure out what was meant by some of the instructions.  And unfortunately the director has a bias to one group, but that seems to be common across the industry.  I just tell myself, you’re a contractor, keep your mouth shut, this too will pass and you’ll be off to the next assignment.  (Palatino, 11 points)

I have an idea floating around for a sweater.  I see the shape as pretty basic, round or scoop neck, set in sleeves, some waist shaping and ending at the high hip. I think it would be best done in pieces rather than in the round.  The main fabric will have texture from an overall stitch pattern, but there will be vertical bands of not so open lacework to break up the pattern.  Perhaps knit from side to side to change the look of the patterns.  I really don’t want to go into Barbara Walker’s Treasuries and pick out a pattern for his.  I want to come up with something on my own.  I won’t hold my breath that I can actually do that.  But I can maybe use an obscure one. (Helvetica, 11 points)

 It isn’t like I have nothing on my needles right now with nothing waiting.  I owe 2 sets of fingerless gloves after I finish the pair of socks I have going right now.  Then there are the three blocks for the block a week KAL for Jan and several WIPs that I have to decide if I’ll finish or frog them.  But I really am tired of my wardrobe but can’t find what I want in readymade.  My cubical is so cold; right now I have three layers on.  I need some warm tops that aren’t too bulky so I can layer as needed.  I’ve added about 3 cardigans to my collection.   I did a Calvert, a Manu and a Tissue cardigan over the last 13 months.  They will augment the couple of machine made ones from Talbots and Marshalls/ TJ Maxx as well as some older hand knits.  I did lose some sweaters to moths or another critter when I was taking care of Dad that last year.  I never got the chance to give them a good cleaning at the end of season and put them away as I normally do.  I lost probably 10 sweaters to the moths.  I can fix a few but others are too far gone and way too small a gauge to fix.  They have become dust cloths, cashmere dust cloths.  UGH!  I did get my money’s worth out of them though.  They were close to 10 yrs old so I can’t complain too much.  I really liked them and they worked so well in my wardrobe that I miss them and their cuddly warmth.  (Georgia, 11 points)

I was lucky that the little buggers did not get into my stash.  I did find two skeins that may have has some issues.  But these were wool from at least 30 yrs ago.  It could have happened in any of the 9 places my stash has been over that time.  I found that out when I was caking them up to use in Chris Bylsma class, Stashology 201.  I didn’t find any signs of dead bodies but you never know. I am making an effort to use some of my stash up this year.  I am cutting back on stash collection.  I do get something if there isn’t anything in the stash that will work, but am trying not to buy.  I will be doing Sock Madness this year again so I did get a few solid sock yarns for that because I have so few and they are mainly dark colors.  Dark colors are not good for speed knitting, too hard on the eyes and don’t show the patterning well for the photos.  But I am determined to get the stash down.  I am working on some blocks that will go into charity blankets.  It’s a block a week KAL.  I’m using my mother’s stash for that as well as my own.  I have to set up a place where I can photograph my stash and then get it listed on Ravelry so I know what I really have.  That will help me figure out what I can do with it.  I wish I never found Webs, Elann and DBNY (Discontinued Brand New Yarn) on-line.  I probably could have paid cash outright for the new car.  Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration but I could have bought A new car in cash if I didn’t have this stash just not the Audi I got, maybe a Hyundai, definitely a Kia. (Courier New, 11 points)

I’ll let you know how the design comes along.  I should be able to write up directions in a couple of sizes after taking Ysolda’s class on grading patterns.  I should have picked out a yarn and worked on swatches by the time I write the next installment.  Oh boy, I’ll get to use the Intertwined charting program I bought and maybe even draw a schematic.  Heck, I may actually get the hang of designing for someone other than myself.  Woo Hoo!!